


Just Be Me

by Daiya_Darko



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Forced Orgasm, M/M, Rough Sex, Science Boyfriends, Watersports, d/s dynamics, dub con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-29
Updated: 2012-06-29
Packaged: 2017-11-08 19:39:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/446785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daiya_Darko/pseuds/Daiya_Darko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce can’t accept the most intimate parts of himself until Tony does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Be Me

**Author's Note:**

> Very incoherent at times, and I apologize for that, I really do, but the concept has been sitting in my head festering for so long that I kind of lost sight...I hope you enjoy it anyways. The italicized lines are from the song "Just Be Me" by Kirsty Hawkshaw.

_You can travel the world but you can’t run away from the person you are in your heart._

__  
  
Bruce sneaks out of the Avengers Tower at midnight to catch the red eye to Colorado. He’s torn between leaving a note for Tony, who will be more hurt than angry, and decides it’s better to not say anything.  
  
He’s gotten used to that.  
  
The taxi ride costs $40, but that’s okay because he emptied his bank account to keep from leaving a paper trail. He refuses to be found again, at least until he finds himself.   
  
Bruce shrugs his backpack onto his shoulders as he drags a duffel and suitcase through the automatic doors. LaGuardia, a usually busy air port, is quiet at this time of night. There are cleaning personnel scrubbing away at the dirty floors and windows, and stranded passengers are lying on chairs, couches, and the floor.   
  
Bruce spots a small bar that’s still open and heads there. He doesn’t normally drink, but given the circumstances, he could use something to help him relax.   
  
He orders coke and rum and sips the drink quietly. He finally feels at peace for the first time since the first time he hung out with Tony after sending Loki off.   
  
The good feeling doesn’t last long, as his muscles tense and he sniffs the air. He doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is.   
  
“How did you find me?” He asks quietly, taking a sip from his glass.   
  
“Oh please. You didn’t clear your browser history.”  
  
“You went through my browser history?”  
  
Tony hops onto the stool next to him and says, “Don’t take it personal; I go through everyone’s browser history.”  
  
“And here I thought I was special,” Bruce jokes, even though his face is serious.   
  
Tony gives him a small smile. “You  _are_  special.” He places a firm hand on Bruce’s bicep. “Come home.”  
  
Bruce knocks back the rest of his drink, grabs his bags, and shakes his head. “That’s not my home.” He leaves a ten for the bartender and walks out, Tony still trailing after him. He sighs and looks back, finally taking a good look at his friend’s appearance.  
  
Tony is in a tank top and basketball shorts with a pair of Pumas. He hardly looks like a billionaire, especially with his hair all messy like that. In fact, if he didn’t know any better, Bruce would assume Tony heard him leave and chased after him.   
  
Bruce keeps walking to his gate, constantly aware of the presence behind him. He sets his bags down in a chair by the window and sighs.  
  
“Tony, I’m not going back. There’s too much here.”  
  
“Too much what? Comfort? People who care about you? Resources?”  
  
Bruce bites his lip but snaps his head around. “Yeah, there’s too much chance for the military or S.H.I.E.L.D. to use me for experiments.”  
  
Tony reaches out to touch Bruce, but the doctor pulls away.   
  
“You know you’re more than that.”  
  
“Am I?” Bruce smiles bitterly and Tony feels a tightness in his chest. “I have toxic blood and yet I’m still alive. The only side effect is that I lose control and destroy everything I come near. If someone doesn’t want to experiment on that, then they either don’t know who I am, or can’t find me, and I’d rather it be the latter.”  
  
“I didn’t try to experiment on you and I totally could have, you know, given my research into you and access to tools and such.” Tony shrugs and looks down at his feet.  
  
Bruce realizes that Tony has a point, but his mind is made up. “Thanks for that, but not everyone is like you. I have to go.” Bruce realizes he’s lying through his teeth, just trying to make things easier to explain without having to explain at all, but decides it’s for the best.  
  
They’re silent for a minute, and then Tony launches himself at Bruce and wraps his arms around his shoulders.  
  
“Please don’t leave,” he murmurs into Bruce’s shoulder. “You’re the only friend I have that isn’t on my payroll and isn’t after my money.”  
  
“So I’m your  _only_  friend?”  
  
Tony pauses, then squeezes tighter. “Please stay.”  
  
Bruce hesitates, then wraps his arms around Tony’s waist. He rests his chin on Tony’s shoulder and says quietly, “I can’t and you know that. I never stay in one place for too long, and definitely not in major cities.”  
  
Tony sighs and looks him in the eye. “I know.”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
The attendant comes on the intercom and announces the boarding of Bruce’s plane. Tony gives him one last pleading look before letting go and stepping back.  
  
“I might come back to visit one day.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Bruce can’t bring himself to look Tony in the eye, because he knows that if he does, he’ll stay. He’ll get his bag back and hop in the car and never think about leaving again.  
  
But he instead turns his back and walks away, through the doors, and never looks back.

  
  
_To search for the truth, you must look in the mirror and make sense of what you can see._

__  
  
The flight goes smoothly, and Bruce sleeps well. He gets his luggage, catches a taxi, and rides in silence. His life is quiet now, as if everything is going still.  
  
But he’s haunted by the tone of Tony’s voice, nagging in the back of his head. 

 _“Please don’t leave.”_  
  
Bruce shakes away the not-so-distant memory and focuses on the scenery outside his window.   
  
It’s dark, but he can see the sky clearly and it fills him with hope. Maybe there’s something for him here after all.  
  
His house is no more than a small log cabin in the woods, a mile away from the nearest town. He has access to electricity, but he doesn’t need much besides an Internet connection and telephone line. He was never one for television.   
  
His cell rings, having forgotten about it, and sees it’s Tony. Bruce silences the phone and tosses it on the couch.   
  
This is his time. This is time for Bruce to get himself together. He let himself almost lose control and almost hurt Tony.   
  
The next day he walks into town, enjoying the warm, summer sun filtering through the trees and the smell of pine. He sees squirrels and rabbits darting through the under brush and smiles. This is what he needs: peace, calm, quiet, and isolation. He can’t turn into the Hulk in an environment like this.   
  
He contemplates buying a car, but settles for an electric motor bike that he can recharge with the generator at his house. He’ll grow his own vegetables and learn to hunt. He’ll try to live off the grid as long as possible; he has solar panels on his house, a back up generator, and his plumbing is connected to a well. As for a job, he’ll consider using one of his former aliases and the degrees it comes with to get a job at the local doctor office or start his own. Maybe he’ll just open a book shop or work in the library.   
  
Bruce has so many options in such a small town.   
  
He buys a few groceries and rides his bike back to his house, making the trip only five minutes as opposed to half an hour.   
  
When he checks his phone, he sees missed calls from everyone back in New York and even more text messages and voicemails. He decides to listen to the one by Director Fury.  
  
“Doctor Banner, please get in touch with me as soon as possible. You are being searched for by General Ross once word of your disappearance was leaked. We have a general idea of where you are, but we don’t want to force you. If you want our help, you know where to find us.”  
  
The message sends a chill down his spine, but he knows Fury is lying; S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn’t have the best relationship with the military and Tony definitely wouldn’t be so dumb as to let information like that slip into the wrong hands.   
  
The next message is from Steve.  
  
“I hope you’re okay, Bruce. We’re all worried about you. Please call me back.”  
  
Bruce searches through the messages and calls and finally gets to Tony’s.  
  
“Bruce, please. Please come back. I know I can’t bribe you, but I need you.  _We_  need you, and I’m not just talking about the other guy; things just aren’t the same. You make everyone calmer just by being in the room, which is ironic when you think about it. Just…I miss you. Please come back.”  
  
Bruce swallows and looks at the mirror hanging over the fire place. He hadn’t realized he was holding his breath or the tear that streaked down his flushed face. He recognizes the tone of Tony’s voice and it reminds him of another memory.   
  
 _“You love it, don’t you?”_  
  
 _Tony nods eagerly._  
  
 _Bruce smiles and slides a possessive hand up to his throat._  
  
Bruce shivers at the thoughts and tries to clear his head. That was now his past, the reason he could never get close to anyone. Anytime they saw that, they ran. Tony didn’t, and now he’s trying his damnedest to bring Bruce back. For what, Bruce has no idea.  
  
Bruce turns off his phone and goes off to read a book. 

  
  
_They say learning to love yourself is the first step that you take when you want to be real._

__  
  
When Bruce does decide to visit Manhattan again after six months of no contact, he doesn’t warn anyone. He simply catches the red eye to New York City and a taxi to Tony’s tower. He doesn’t expect to still be in the system, but when he presses his hand to the bio scanner and lets it examine his retina, he’s surprised to hear JARVIS say, “Welcome back, Dr. Banner.”  
  
Bruce smiles meekly and nods his thanks as he enters the private lift and waits patiently. He doesn’t expect anyone to be up, but remembers that Tony did hear him when he left.   
  
Bruce enters the dark loft and heads up the stairs as quietly as possible, slipping into his old room and dumping his bags on the floor by the door. He begins undressing and slips into the bed in only his boxers, only to feel another body beside him.  
  
He starts with a curse and flings himself out of the bed, hearing the other guy growling in the back of his head. Bruce tries to calm down as he pulls the covers back and sees Tony sleeping calmly beneath the sheets.  
  
Bruce hesitates before crawling in the bed and gently shaking Tony awake.  
  
“Tony,” he whispers. “What are you doing in my bed?”  
  
Tony grumbles and rolls over before sitting up, eyes wide.  
  
“Am I dreaming?” Tony’s voice is shaky as he reaches out to touch Bruce’s face. Bruce grabs his hand and shakes his head.   
  
He places his hand over Tony’s arc reactor and says, “I’m as real as this.”  
  
Tony clings to him, crying tears of joy and Bruce lets him, rubbing his back all the while.   
  
“You never called, you never sent a message, you didn’t even send a letter!” Tony shouts. He’s happy, but he’s also angry with worry.  
  
“I know, I know and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”  
  
Tony leans back and wipes his face. “I thought something bad happened.”  
  
Bruce smirks. “What could possibly happen?”  
  
“Oh I don’t know…the military!”  
  
Bruce falls silent. “I thought that after what happened, you wouldn’t want to see me again.”  
  
“It was that bad? Wow, my ego is officially hurt.”  
  
“No, no it was great. I just…I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or feel any regrets.”  
  
Tony moves to his knees and pulls Bruce’s face to his and kisses him slowly, letting his hands move to the doctor’s neck and tangle in his hair.   
  
Bruce moans at the contact and pulls Tony’s hips toward him, their bodies flushed with contact.   
  
“I’m sorry. I just assumed –”  
  
“When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.”  
  
Bruce chuckles at the old adage and kisses the dip in Tony’s neck. His hands slide down the inventor’s chest, brushing his nipples before pinching them.   
  
Tony hisses at the contact and roughly sucks and bites at the doctor’s neck. Bruce growls and shoves Tony to his back, pinning him by his shoulders as he grinds his erection into Tony’s.   
  
“Jesus, Banner. Did you miss me?” Tony digs his nails into Bruce’s scalp and back as he thrusts upwards, searching for more contact.   
  
“You have no idea,” Bruce says into Tony’s neck, his hands sliding down to remove his boxers. “I thought about you every night and touched myself thinking about your lips on my cock.” He bites his shoulder and tugs roughly on Tony’s erect member while the billionaire moans at his words and touch.   
  
“God, I missed this part of you,” Tony moans into Bruce’s mouth.  
  
This part of Bruce, the part where he slightly loses control and lets Tony trust him so intimately, is unfamiliar and yet so natural to him. It’s the only way he can have sex, to be rough and controlling, to let the other guy out just a little, but he never thought he’d meet someone who could handle that.   
  
When they had sex for the first time, Tony had kept making sexual jokes and flirting not-so-subtly. Bruce grew aroused and before he could help himself, he slammed Tony into the wall and bit his neck as he ground his crotch into Tony’s hip. Tony had responded at first with hesitation and trying to gain control of the situation by pulling Bruce’s hair and kissing him forcefully. It was a bad idea; Bruce flipped him on his back and sat with his knees on either side of Tony’s head, unzipped his pants, and slipped his dick into Tony’s surprised and eager mouth.   
  
After they had sex, Bruce felt extremely embarrassed, even though Tony tried to convince him it was okay. Bruce didn’t feel the same, feeling he had raped his friend. Despite Tony’s consolation, he left the following day.   
  
Now he was beginning to accept himself, seeing how Tony begged for him, not just sexually, but personally. Someone  _did_  care.   
  
“Tony,” Bruce snaps. “Do you want me to fuck you?”  
  
Tony whimpers under Bruce’s intense gaze and nodded.   
  
Bruce presses a firm hand to the base of the scientist’s throat and growls, “Tell me. Let me hear you say it.”  
  
“I want you to fuck me.”  
  
“In your mouth or your ass?”  
  
Tony moans softly and chokes out, “My ass.”  
  
Bruce gives him a sly grin and pulls out his erect penis. He leans over Tony, letting the tip of his dick press against Tony’s opening, and reaches for the lube left behind in the night stand. Bruce uncaps it and drips some on his fingers, rubbing them together as he watches Tony’s face.   
  
Tony’s eyes are wide, his mouth slightly open as he pants with excitement. Bruce slides the first finger in all the way and Tony’s breath hitches. Inside, the finger wiggles and curls, sending Tony’s hips pushing down against Bruce’s hand, and the doctor slips in a second finger as Tony cries out.   
  
Bruce pauses to let him adjust and slowly spreads his fingers, pulling them slowly from the now slicked hole and gently rubbing at Tony’s prostate.   
  
“Bruce, please, I need more,” Tony mumbles, his eyes shut tight in pleasure. Bruce grabs his face and licks at Tony’s lips.  
  
“Open your eyes. I want to see you when I stick my dick in you.”  
  
Tony gasps and opens his eyes, full-blown with lust, as he lifts his hips. Bruce adds more lubricant to his erection and presses the head of his dick into Tony, pausing as a shiver runs down his spine. He can feel the other guy, right there under the surface, demanding control, and Bruce fights to keep his own. He takes a deep breath and to bargain with the Hulk, shoves roughly into Tony, holding his hips tightly and snapping into the tight, wet hole. He’s distantly aware of Tony’s cries, and knows he should slow down, but in order to keep this level of control, he has to keep going.   
  
Tony writhes underneath Bruce, clutching at his arms and crying out as Bruce digs against his prostate. He tries to move a hand to his aching dick, but Bruce snarls and holds his hands above his head.  
  
“You’ll come when I tell you to,” Bruce growls into his neck. “Do you want to come right now?”  
  
Against his better judgement, Tony nods frantically and whines. Bruce smiles cruelly and grabs the dick in between them and jerks forcefully.   
  
“Come, Tony. Do it now. I’m gonna make you come at least one more time before we’re through.”  
  
Tony thrusts his hips up and moans at Bruce’s words and touches. Everything feels on fire and feels totally out of control. He bucks his hips up and shouts as sperm spills out over Bruce’s hand and lands on his and Tony’s chest.   
  
Bruce doesn’t slow down, but moves his hand from Tony’s dick and moves faster inside of him, struggling not to come himself. Bruce changes his angle to get to Tony’s prostate more easily, and Tony whimpers at the stimulation. It’s too much too soon; he grows hard again, in spite of the sensitivity and simply relaxes his muscles as Bruce does all the work, filthy words spilling from his mouth.   
  
“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. You give yourself so easily to me. You want my dick so bad, you horny slut. I bet you fucked your own hand and pretended it was me. Did you fuck anyone else when I was gone?”  
  
Tony barely registers the question, so he stares blankly up at Bruce. Bruce stops and snaps his hips with each word.   
  
“Did. You. Fuck. Someone. Else?”  
  
Tony nods and pushes his hips upward, trying to receive more contact, but Bruce holds him down, his face hovering close to Tony’s.   
  
“Who was it?” There’s a territorial tone in Bruce’s voice and it makes Tony tremble against his will.   
  
“Steve,” he croaks. Bruce starts up his maddening pace again and grabs Tony’s sore, hard member and begins stroking again, twisting his hand with each downstroke.   
  
“Did you let him take you like this?”   
  
Tony bites his lip and nods.  
  
“Was he as good as me?”  
  
Tony shakes his head quickly, gaining an evil grin from Bruce.   
  
“Yeah, I bet he wasn’t. He seems like the type to take you on a date and fuck you on the third. I bet you were fucking yourself on his cock, you were so thirsty. I should bring him in and watch you fuck yourself on him then make you clean his dick with your mouth. Then I’d bend you over and fuck you even harder. Your ass would be so sore and loose when we were done. You would like that, wouldn’t you?”  
  
Tony feels a tear slide down his cheek as he nods. The stimulation is becoming too much to handle, and his second orgasm rips through him, making him arch his back and go silent.   
  
Bruce smiles at the response and finally let’s himself lose control for a brief moment, just long enough to rut into Tony and come in long, powerful spurts. His arms tremble from tiredness, but he doesn’t move until he’s sure the other guy has slipped back to his place.   
  
When Bruce is in total control again, he looks down at Tony, covered in bites on his neck and bruises on his hips. He pulls away gently and lies next to his friend (lover?) and strokes his face, wet with sweat and the odd tear.   
  
“Tony, are you okay?” Bruce asks calmly.   
  
Tony nods wordlessly, all the speech fucked out of him after his first orgasm. Bruce leans over and kisses him on the cheek.   
  
“Will you tell me what I said tomorrow? I don’t really remember much.”  
  
Again, Tony nods.   
  
Bruce smiles and falls asleep with his arm wrapped around Tony’s chest, his hand covering the arc reactor protectively. 

  
  
_Face up to the fact that you are who you are, and nothing can change that belief._

__  
  
When Bruce awakes the next morning, he panics at the sight of Tony, again in a similar condition as the first time.  
  
He groans with regret and begins to get out of the bed when he feels Tony’s hand suddenly clutch his own.   
  
“You’re not leaving again.”  
  
“I hurt you again.”  
  
“It was nothing I didn’t want.”  
  
“I marked you. I…are those bruises on your neck?”  
  
Tony runs a hand up to his neck and winces. “You did a lot of biting.”  
  
Bruce sighs and covers his face. “I’m so sorry, Tony. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”  
  
“The sex or the type of sex?”  
  
“Both. I didn’t want to weird you out.”  
  
Tony laughs and leans over to kiss Bruce’s cheek. “I’ve been in weirder situations, so don’t worry about it.”  
  
Bruce bites his lip and nods thoughtfully. A question then invades his mind.   
  
“Why were you sleeping in my bed?”  
  
Tony’s smiles disappears as his face turns red. “After I had sex with Steve, I just missed you even more, so I slept in your bed.”  
  
“Wow, he must feel great about that.”  
  
“He doesn’t know. No one does.”  
  
Bruce realizes this, and a sick feeling grows in his stomach. “I’m not ready to face the others, especially not when you’re all bruised and bitten.”  
  
Tony rolls out of the bed and winces with every step he takes toward the bathroom. Bruce watches with a pang of shame at himself for doing that.   
  
“Are you okay?” He calls.   
  
“Yeah. It’s just been a while since I got fucked so hard I couldn’t walk.”  
  
Bruce smirks despite himself and follows. He leans in the door way as he watches Tony relieve himself, then get in the shower. Tony raises an eyebrow, an invitation, Bruce realizes, and he lets his shoulders drop with a sigh as he follows.   
  
The hot water is almost burning, but it feels good, as if he’s being cleansed thoroughly of everything. Tony hands him a soapy sponge, and Bruce takes it, scrubbing at Tony’s back. When his hand goes lower, he can’t help the growl that escapes from his throat.   
  
“Oh god, I’m sorry Tony. I didn’t mean – “  
  
Tony grabs his hand it pulls it to his front so Bruce can feel his erection. Bruce drops the sponge behind him and pushes Tony forward onto the cold tile, slowly stroking him. He leans against him and bites into his neck, Tony wincing and yelping at the rough touch on sensitive skin.   
  
“I need to pee, Tony,” Bruce says quietly.   
  
Tony nods.   
  
Bruce angles his penis to Tony’s lower back and whispers, “Do you want me to mark you? Do you want to show everyone you belong to me?”  
  
This is a kink Tony’s never tried before, but with the voice change in Bruce and the hand slowly jerking on his dick, he just nods yes.  
  
Bruce holds his throat from behind, tilting his head backwards and licking at Tony’s adam’s apple. He shudders as he releases his flow, the urine slightly cooler than the hot water they’re drenched in. Tony moans as it slips between the cleft of his cheeks and bucks into Bruce’s hand when some drips onto his balls.   
  
Bruce smiles into Tony’s skin when he’s done, and lets go of his neck. Tony gasps for breath as he drops his head forward; he didn’t realize he couldn’t breathe, but it doesn’t matter. He has Bruce, and now he belongs to him.   
  
Bruce grabs the shower gel Tony uses and pours a fair amount into his hand, careful not to lather his dick as he strokes. He pours some more on his fingers and pushes roughly into Tony’s willing ass. He twists his two fingers inside and remains pressed against Tony’s back to growl obscenities in his lover’s ear.   
  
“You’re a kinky bitch, did you know that? I should piss on you more often. Then you’d smell like me and everyone would know better than to touch you.” Bruce slows his hand as Tony pushes against his fingers, gasping for breath and relief. Bruce smiles and pulls out, shoving his dick in. He still doesn’t move, and when Tony realizes this, he moves backwards, impaling himself on Bruce’s cock. Bruce places his hands on Tony’s shoulders and watches himself slip in and out of Tony, but not nearly fast enough. He digs his nails into Tony’s shoulders and begins a piston-like pace, causing Tony to moan a little with each thrust. Bruce enjoys watching this, watching Tony fall apart in his grip, and slides a hand down to Tony’s chest, pinching and pulling at his sensitive nipple. Tony whimpers and tries to push back more, needing release.   
  
Bruce lets his other hand fall to Tony’s erection and begin pulling roughly, while the other hand remains playing with his nipples. Bruce bends Tony forward further and smiles when he realizes he’s hit Tony’s prostate and feels the come sliding over his fingers. He allows Tony to slump backwards onto Bruce’s chest, but Bruce doesn’t stop playing with him. He nibbles on Tony’s ear and snarls, “You come so fast when I fuck you. I’m gonna make you come again and again until you pass out.” Tony can only nod and whine as Bruce continues. He grows hard again and his nipples are even more sensitive than before. Against his better judgement, Tony thrusts into Bruce’s hand, causing the painful pleasure of another release building up. Bruce changes the position of his hips and snaps harder than before, causing Tony to shudder as another release tears through him. He lets out a choked sob and his legs begin to shake.  
  
Bruce holds him up by his hips and continues tugging on his cock and balls.   
  
Tony’s more vocal now, crying out loud at every touch on his body, Bruce’s hands, his cock penetrating his ass, and especially the way the doctor’s tongue laves over that one spot on the back of his neck.   
  
“Come on, bitch. I’m about to come. Do you want me to come in your ass or your mouth?”  
  
Tony can barely form words, and just whines.   
  
Bruce’s hips move faster and he shouts, “Answer me!”  
  
Tony gasps and cries out, “Ass!” He loves the feel of Bruce’s come sliding down his balls and thighs, loves feeling owned in such a perverse way.   
  
And now Tony can feel a reluctant orgasm coming on, but it’s eased out by Bruce’s encouraging chanting.   
  
“Come on, Tony. I know you got it in you. You fucking love it when I make you come. You need my dick like a bitch in heat. If I could knot, I’d do it inside of you and make you stay on my dick until I finished coming. Then I’d pull out and watch all my come drip out of your ass. I’d finger you with it until you came again and make you lick it off my fingers. Maybe I should just get a dog to do it. I should have you bent over and watch a dog fuck you in the ass like the bitch you are.”  
  
Tony’s too turned on to even question Bruce’s words, spills with almost a scream as his third orgasm rips through him like a bullet through paper. He goes limp, but Bruce catches him, still thrusting as Tony hangs forward in his arms. After a few more minutes of humping against the limp body, Bruce comes, a loud, long shout coming from deep inside of him, and he knows it’s the other guy screaming, the other guy fucking into Tony, who is well spent. He knows he could go on forever, but won’t.   
  
Bruce turns off the water and carries Tony to his bed in his arms. He doesn’t think about the water still dripping off their bodies; he inspects his damage done to Tony’s now noting red half-moons on Tony’s shoulders from where he initially dug in. His ass is red and sore looking, and his limp dick doesn’t look much better.   
  
There’s a knock on the door, and with the other guy still so close to the surface, Bruce gets up to answer it. He wants someone, anyone to know how he’s in control and now in control of Tony.   
  
“Who is it?” He growls against the door.   
  
“It’s Steve. I heard some yelling and –”  
  
Bruce swings the door open wide enough for Steve to see Tony lying on the bed, passed out, and that Bruce is naked.   
  
Steve swallows and takes a step back. “I see you’re busy. Good to have you back, doctor.” He turns and tries not to run down the hall, slightly disturbed by what he just saw.  
  
Bruce closes the door and walks back to the bed to plaster Tony with kisses all over his body, spending extra time on the places he’s hurt. Bruce massages gently his feet and legs, then his arms and back. Tony will still be sore when he wakes up, but the rubs should alleviate the pain somewhat.  
  
When he’s done, he lays Tony on his chest and pulls the covers over them to get a quick nap in. Only sleep will relax him enough into total control, and the Hulk willingly hands it over.  
  
Bruce wakes up before Tony and makes a note of the time. It’s five, and he’s starving. He gently shakes Tony awake, who groans and hisses as he sits up.  
  
“What happened?” He asks groggily.  
  
Bruce kisses him on his lips and says, “I kind of fucked you until you passed out.”  
  
“Jesus fucking Christ,” is all Tony can manage to say.   
  
“Yeah, well, he wasn’t there. Let’s go get something to eat.” Bruce dresses himself, then finds Tony’s clothes where he threw them the previous night. He dresses the scientist and helps him out of bed, holding him by the bicep as they walk down the stairs.  
  
Bruce’s hand is still around Tony’s arm when they walk into the kitchen and see everyone sitting at the table, eating Chinese food. They stop and stare at the image before them, and Clint’s the first one to say something.  
  
“Alright, Bruce! Glad to have you back, man! Although, not as glad as some people.” Clint smirks and raises his eyebrows at Tony, who collapses into a chair, then winces at the contact and nearly jumps out of his seat. Natasha twitches her lip in a well-defined attempt not to laugh, but Thor seems to be the only one unaware of what’s going on.   
  
“Stark, what ails you so?” He asks out of concern.   
  
“Bruce’s dick!” Clint answers as he laughs loudly. Natasha punches him in the shoulder, but can’t help the smile on her face.   
  
“It’s cute, you guys,” Nat says quietly, and Tony rolls his eyes as he reaches for the shrimp fried rice and a plastic fork. Bruce brings him a glass of water from the fridge and sits down with a beer for himself.  
  
“Not fair!” Tony complains. “Why do you get beer?”  
  
“You’re dehydrated, Tony, and I need to stay relaxed.” Bruce smiles and pats his hand. He leans forward to grab the chicken lo mein, and Steve hands it to him, giving him a slight glare. Bruce just smiles brightly and nods his thanks as he digs into his food, ravenous.   
  
“So, Bruce. Where have you been?” Steve asks evenly.   
  
Bruce shrugs. “Living off the grid. It’s calming.”  
  
“Didn’t think to leave a note or get in contact to keep us from worrying?”  
  
Bruce stops mid-bite to stare at Steve. He’s clearly challenging him, and he sets his fork down.   
  
“I’m not used to being missed. Usually, people just replace me or forget about me entirely.”  
  
“You are a part of this group, Banner. Of course we would miss you,” Thor says. “Also, I know not of anyone else who can do what you do while also being so clever.”  
  
Tony snorts. “What, I’m not smart too?”  
  
Thor looks apologetic. “I did not mean offense!”  
  
Tony chuckles and waves him off. “I’m just messing with you.”  
  
The conversation remains light, with everyone filling Bruce in on what he missed. The highlight was when Loki returned and asked about him.   
  
“So then he just totally stops and looks around like he’s confused,” Clint explains. “And he asks, ‘Where is the beast?’ and we’re all just shrugging and Loki sighs like he’s disappointed or something. And he says, ‘It’s not the same. He and I matched so well.’ and then he just fucking leaves and takes all his shit with him. I swear, it was so fucking unreal!”  
  
Bruce can’t help but grin, but in the back of his mind, he also can’t help but feel as though his thoughts are confirmed. Things are better when he’s gone.   
  
They finish their food and Bruce offers to help Steve with the clean up. Thor helps Tony limp to the living room, with Clint snickering behind them.   
  
Once they’re alone, Steve corners Bruce, and Bruce has never liked being cornered, so he raises his shoulders and stares Steve in the eyes.   
  
“Can I help you?”  
  
“What you did to Tony was uncalled for.”  
  
Bruce snorts. “He asked for it.” He tries to push past the soldier, but Steve keeps him in place.   
  
“You hurt him. Everyone could see the bruises and bite marks on his neck and I saw him myself. He was unconscious. What did you do to him?”  
  
Bruce laughs and shakes his head before sneering, “I only did what you couldn’t while I was gone.”  
  
Steve punches the wall by Bruce’s head and he feels the other guy growing angry.  
  
“I didn’t hurt him, if that’s what you mean.”  
  
“He likes being hurt. He gets off on giving up control. Welcome to the 21st century, captain. There’s a whole world of sex you don’t know about.”  
  
Steve sighs and backs off a little. “Don’t hurt him anymore.”  
  
“Don’t tell me what to do. He liked it, he begged for it, and when he realized you couldn’t satisfy his needs, he took to sleeping in my bed. I only made up for lost time; you couldn’t even make up for me not being here.” Bruce shoves past him and stalks out of the kitchen, breathing heavily through his nose.  
  
Bruce refuses to let Steve or anyone else make him feel guilty about who or  _what_  he is and what he’s capable of. He’s tired of being underestimated by everyone now. He’s not the quiet, compliant, nervous man everyone thinks he is. No, he’s just keeping a lid on his true self, the combination of him and the Hulk. He’s not the same as before his accident, and finally accepts this in his heart, just as Tony accepted the first night it happened.   
  
Bruce sits next to Tony, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and Tony leans into the touch. No one minds or says anything, silently acknowledging the chemistry that was always there. Steve tries hard to ignore the couple on the other side of the room.   
  
After an hour of watching a movie, Bruce feels Tony slump against his shoulder and he looks down at his face, eyes closed an mouth slightly open, the glisten of drool at the corner of his mouth.   
  
“I’m gonna take Tony upstairs. He fell asleep.” Bruce announces. He lifts Tony into arms with one swoop and smirks at the reactions of his fellow team mates. No one expected him to be strong as a human.  
  
“Will you come back when you’re done?” Natasha asks. “I have a few questions.”  
  
Bruce nods and heads up the stairs to his room. He tucks Tony in and gives him a quick peck on the forehead before going back downstairs. He sits down, legs spread and arms resting on each side of the chair, slightly slouching.   
  
Natasha quirks an eyebrow but leans forward and asks quietly, “What did you do to Tony?”  
  
Bruce shrugs. “A little rough sex is all.”  
  
“His neck is red and purple.”  
  
“I like to bite.”  
  
Everyone is listening intently, and Bruce feels his heart rate elevate slightly.   
  
“So Tony likes it rough?”  
  
Bruce smiles and nods.  
  
“Do you have a safe word?” Natasha looks extremely concerned now, and Bruce leans forward, matching her gaze.   
  
“I’m not even sure that would help if things got out of control.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Bruce sighs and tries to figure out how to explain.   
  
“If I become sexually aroused, it’s similar to becoming angry, but because the chemicals released aren’t the same, I don’t actually hulk out. He just sits beneath the surface and mostly takes over mentally. That’s why a safe word might not work; I don’t think he’d listen. I have some control; I don’t choke or hit him, don’t throw him around. I can hold back if he says no initially or puts up a fight in the middle of things, but if he does the latter, the chemicals could change and since the Hulk is already so close…”  
  
Everyone’s eyes are wide with shock or impressment, Bruce can’t tell.   
  
“Then you need to learn to control it more,” Natasha says. “We thought something was wrong with the sounds we heard, and then Steve saw him passed out.”  
  
Bruce smiles shyly. “It was his third orgasm; he was pretty tired.”  
  
Clint lets out a slow whistle and holds out his fist for Bruce to pound. Bruce grins to reciprocate but Nat smacks their hands.   
  
“I’m serious here. Be careful with him, Bruce. I’m happy you found someone who can handle you, but he  _is_  still just a human, arc reactor or not.”  
  
Bruce nods in understanding. “I’ll try to work on that,” he looks to Clint, “Which means I’ll need a lot of practice.”  
  
They laugh and pound fists and Natasha shakes her head, mumbling something about men being impossible under her breath. 

  
  
_And now I know it’s not so far to where I go, the hardest part is inside me. I need to just be._

__  
  
Bruce holds off from having sex with Tony for a few weeks to let his body recover from his previous actions. He doesn’t let Tony go without satisfaction, however; to practice gaining control, he slowly fingers Tony and resists the urge to mounting him. He slides in another finger, increasing his speed, but makes Tony stop him when he’s brutally fucking him with three fingers. The first time it happens, Bruce growls at being told what to do and pins Tony down with his other hand. Tony then shouts, “Nat!” and the agent comes running to pull Bruce away. It takes her and Clint five minutes to get Bruce into a cold shower while holding him down before he finally snaps out of it.  
  
Bruce gasps at the cold water and shuts his eyes before opening them again. He relaxes his muscles and stutters, “I-I’m okay guys, I’m good.” He holds up his hands in submission and the two agents back off.   
  
“Was it that bad? Did I – “  
  
Natasha shakes her head. “You just wouldn’t stop fingering him.”  
  
Bruce hangs his head and sighs. When he looks up, he sees Tony standing in the doorway with just his boxers on.   
  
“I’m sorry, Tony.”  
  
“It’s fine. I would have let you keep going but I was just doing what you asked.”  
  
Clint furrows his brow and turns to Tony. “Why’d you call for Nat? Why not Thor or Steve?”  
  
“Nat is our agreed safe word.”  
  
Natasha gives him a look. “Are you saying that I’m just being used to condition him into stopping?”  
  
Tony grins. “Behavioral psychology works better than most will give it credit for.”  
  
Bruce blushes and averts his gaze downward until Tony tugs at his shirt for him to stand. He grabs Bruce’s hands and says, “I’m okay. We’ll just keep practicing, okay?”  
  
Bruce nods solemnly, still embarrassed.   
  
After that, Bruce tries harder to keep a lid on things. He manages to only make out with Tony without any sort of touching, receiving a blow job without completely fucking Tony’s mouth, and can stop when Tony asks him to, removing his fingers without hesitation. It requires a lot of deep breathing and concentration on Bruce’s part, but eventually he trusts himself to have sex with Tony again.   
  
After two months of teasing, Tony is more than excited. Natasha insists on watching them from the security room, just in case, as they have agreed on a hand signal for him to use if he wants to stop or slow things down.  
  
Bruce stretches his shoulders and rolls his neck as he watches Tony get undressed in front of him. Bruce is sitting at the edge of the bed, still clothed as he licks his lips and feels the intensity of the moment sinking in. Once Tony is undressed, he walks toward Bruce, who grabs him by the hips and pulls him onto the bed next to him.   
  
Bruce leans forward, pulling Tony’s knees up to his chest and licking at the back of his thighs. The best way for him to gain control (and ease more orgasms out of Tony gently) is to prolong penetration with plenty of foreplay.   
  
Bruce feels Tony’s thighs quivering as he rubs his calves and licks and sucks the skin on his thighs, working his way up to the skin between his balls and hole. Tony lets out a small whine as Bruce’s tongue flicks over the spot, prodding and stroking. Then he licks up Tony’s balls, sucking each testicle into his mouth and rubbing it gently with his tongue. Every part of him wants to go faster, rougher, just to hear Tony’s gasps and screams, but he keeps steady, even as his hands tremble.   
  
Tony’s hips buck as he feels Bruce’s tongue lick at his sphincter and tries to grind down against the teasing tongue. Bruce grabs his hips and gives a warning growl against his balls before demanding Tony hand him lube. He continues his ministrations on Tony’s asshole, sticking the slick muscle further in with each second Tony delays. The billionaire trembles and pushes downward before handing Bruce the lubricant.   
  
Bruce smiles against his skin and says, “Good boy. Are you ready?”  
  
Tony looks down and nods eagerly, sweat already forming on his brow. Bruce sits up and pours the slippery substance on his fingers and traced the outside of Tony’s hole before sliding a finger in.   
  
Tony can’t help but try to impale himself on the digit, and Bruce has to hold back from just shoving in as rapidly as possible. He slowly pulls in and out, watching Tony’s expression the entire time and growing more turned on as his lover’s face grew redder and the noises he made grew more desperate.   
  
“Bruce, more.”  
  
“No.”  
  
Bruce would gladly like to give him more, but wants to remain in control of the situation. He instead slips another finger in and finds Tony’s prostate, rubbing against it and applying pressure to the gland and grins at how Tony’s body spasms around and in front of him. Bruce plants a kiss on the base of his erection and whispers, “I bet I could make you come like this.”  
  
Tony doesn’t agree or disagree, but moves his hips upward and moans.  
  
“Now now, Tony. We’ve had this talk. You have to tell me what you want.” Bruce meets Tony’s eyes with a lascivious smile on his face.   
  
“I want you to make me come.”  
  
Bruce nods and slides a third finger in, picking up the pace and rubbing the head of Tony’s cock as his breath caresses balls. Tony’s body begins sweating and twitching as he tries to fuck himself in Bruce’s hands.   
  
Bruce’s breathing grows heavier as he feels the need to enter Tony grow more insistent. He can feel – no,  _smell_  – the arousal pouring out of Tony like a fountain of pheromones. He twists his fingers as he plunges inside of him and squeezes the head of Tony’s cock tighter. It’s only when Bruce swallows the head of Tony’s dick that the inventor arches off the bed and comes in short spurts into Bruce’s mouth.  
  
Bruce pulls off and out, climbing up Tony’s body and squeezes the sides of his mouth until it opens and he spits Tony’s come back into his mouth.  
  
“Now swallow,” Bruce demands, his trapped penis growing more uncomfortable.   
  
Tony closes his eyes and swallows, licking his lips then looking up to Bruce for approval.   
  
Bruce smiles and strokes his face gingerly. “That’s hot, did you know that? I like watching you swallow come.” He slides his tongue into Tony’s mouth and Tony’s tongue searches Bruce’s for more traces of his own semen. He sucks on the doctor’s lower lip and tongue, eager to please. Bruce moans at the actions and begins to unzip his pants, pushing down the clothing just enough to free his painful erection and grab the lube again.   
  
“Do you want my cock?” He growls into the skin of Tony’s neck.   
  
“Yes,” Tony responds quietly.   
  
Bruce snorts, starting to let slip some of his control. He presses the tip to the outside of Tony’s ass and says, “No you don’t.”  
  
Tony keens and tries to press himself onto the hard member. Bruce holds his hips steady and nips at his shoulder.   
  
“I don’t believe you.”  
  
Tony moans louder and finally cries out, “I want your cock! Please fuck me!”  
  
Bruce lets slip some of his control as he slides in to the hilt and stops, shaking as he fights for control. He has to let Tony adjust, but the tight heat feels  _so_  good that he can’t help but bite down on Tony’s neck and suck roughly as he waits. When he feels Tony whimper and rock against him, he sits up and thrusts quickly, digging his nails into Tony’s hips. He lets out animalistic grunts with each movement and breathes slowly and heavily through his nose to remain conscious of his actions.   
  
Tony ruts up against Bruce, his erection having returned, and Bruce can’t help but grab it roughly and pull. But Tony’s still sensitive, so he puts a hand on Bruce’s and whispers, “Bruce.”  
  
Bruce growls loudly but lets go and places his hand on Tony’s chest instead, flicking at his nipples and pulling Tony’s body half way off the bed for more control. His muscles are straining, his veins apparent in his skin as he  grits his teeth and tries to reach deeper inside of Tony. He pinches the nub between his fingers until Tony whines and squirms under his touch. With incredible control, Bruce relinquishes the small piece of skin and runs his hand through Tony’s hair with surprising gentility, resting his hand on the back of his neck and leaning down for a kiss. Tony moans at the contact and drags his nails down Bruce’s back. The action sets something off in Bruce and he pulls out to flip Tony on his stomach and pull him up to his knees. He presses back in and finally gets the deepness he sought, squeezing Tony’s cheeks and slapping at them with alternating roughness and softness. Tony begins pressing back, seeking more contact, and grabs Bruce’s hand from his hip and leads him to his erection.   
  
Bruce is only too happy to jerk Tony off, and moves his hand at the same pace of his thrusts, leaving Tony breathless and his legs shaking with exhaustion and an impending orgasm.   
  
Bruce pushes Tony further down when he catches the signs and angles his hips just so in order to reach the prostate easier. Tony moans loudly until he cries out at his second orgasm.   
  
Bruce bites his lip and moves faster. He doesn’t want to leave unnecessary soreness, and doesn’t want to over exert Tony again, so he focuses his energy on  the feeling and sensations he’s experiencing, closing his eyes as he listens to Tony’s small noises beneath him.   
  
Bruce lets slip the last bit of control he has in order to move faster and come with a roar, his face tight and flushed. Still growling, he pulls out and backs up, muscles taught, and paces back and forth around the room.   
  
From the security room, Natasha orders Clint, Thor, and Steve to wait outside the room for further instructions.   
  
Tony rolls over and looks up at Bruce, re-energized by the look of Bruce about to hulk out.   
  
“Bruce?”  
  
Bruce snaps his head in Tony’s direction and heads back to the bed, shoving Tony back onto the mattress.   
  
“Not enough,” he rumbles from the bottom of his chest. “Need more.”  
  
Tony’s breath hitches as Bruce’s hands roam over his body and mouth latches onto his skin. He ruts against Tony’s crotch, arousing the sensitive skin, and Tony relaxes into the action, wrapping his arms around Bruce and tangling his fingers in Bruce’s hair.   
  
“Take what you need,” Tony whispers as he closes his eyes.  
  
Bruce shakes his head. “No hurt.”  
  
Tony realizes that Bruce is barely there, just holding the Hulk back from taking him over and over again. He swallows and rubs his back soothingly.   
  
“Slowly, it’s okay.”  
  
“Need fast. No hurt.”  
  
Bruce pulls away and grabs at his hair, yelling in frustration as he falls to his knees. Natasha is about to call the others in when Bruce simply collapses, then pushes himself up and looks around, confused.   
  
“Tony?”  
  
Tony rushes to his side and holds Bruce in his arms as he shakes. He strokes the dark, wavy curls and whispers, “It’s okay, you’re fine, I’m fine, no one got hurt.”  
  
Bruce shakes his head. “I almost raped you.”  
  
“But you  _didn’t_. You regained control and stopped yourself. That’s what’s important.” Tony kisses him gently on his forehead, cheeks, and lips. Bruce leans into his chest and tries to regain his composure.   
  
Natasha breathes a sigh of relief and tells the others to stand down. 

  
  
_I need to just be me._

__  
  
Bruce is afraid to have sex again, despite Tony’s insistent urging.  
  
“No, I almost lost control. I wasn’t myself.”  
  
Tony slides his hand up Bruce’s chest and fingers his nipple until is stiffens and Bruce’s breathing increases.   
  
“Tony…”  
  
Tony sucks on his neck and whispers, “Just be you. Just do what feels right.”  
  
“But – “  
  
“I want what you want, no matter what anyone says. I’m yours, completely.”  
  
Bruce closes his eyes and slips his hand behind Tony’s neck and pulls him in for a deep kiss. He breathes steadily until Tony’s other hand rubs at his crotch. Then, the control recedes, but Bruce doesn’t fear it.   
  
He opens his arms and pulls Tony in.


End file.
